The empty spot at the table

For 26 years of my life, holidays were full of nothing but happiness and family. Everyone was present who could drive the distance and it was the complete norm to have the whole gang there. Except for one Christmas when my Dad was deployed, holidays seemed pleasant but uneventful. Obviously, getting married added some dimension to holidays but we still seemed to work things out pretty well. I am also completely blessed to still have all my grandparents still with us. Everyone was always there. At this point, you may be picturing some Lifetime holiday movie depicting my life but as you know, life can change at any moment. I had no idea how blessed I was.

A few years ago, I experienced a holiday season where something was clearly...missing. Someone that should be there, just wasn't. It was complicated, as most situations are but it was my first Christmas with sadness. No matter the reason, we were a partial family and it interrupted my 26 years of happy and uneventful holidays. I wasn't really sure what to do. I was torn between trying to enjoy our time together but not forgetting that we were incomplete.

When part of your family isn't there, it is hard to focus on anything else. There is always an elephant in the room...everyone knows it but doesn't want to talk about it. I tried to keep the mood light but the pain was in all of our eyes. It broke my heart. I had never experienced a holiday with anything less than happiness. It truly opened my eyes to how many people spend their holiday season like this every year. It isn't all hot chocolate, presents and laughter for everyone and for a period of time it wasn't for me.
For that time, everything was just a little...different.

Any laughter at all, was only at 70% because our hearts were heavy.
No one would say "it's so nice to have all of us here" and there clearly was an empty spot at the table. It was physical proof that everything wasn't the way it had always been.

Maybe you can relate to this because you have family members who are at odds with each other or the distance is too far or your loved one is in heaven or you've been deeply hurt by someone you love. No matter the situation, you know that it just isn't the same.

I wish I had magic words, to heal the space in your heart that is hurting. I wish I could tell you to call your parent, sibling, friend or child and invite them to come home for Christmas but I know it isn't always that easy. I don't have all the answers.

What I do have...is hope that God will answer prayers.

He will heal breaking hearts. 
He will fix broken relationships. 
He will provide forgiveness, grace and above all...peace. 
He can make miracles happen...I have seen this myself. 
The impossible is not impossible for Him.

When you see your empty spot at the table...say a prayer and know that God sees that empty spot at the table too. He can feel your sadness and He knows what it is like to have someone missing too.

Remember He sent his only son to this earth, as a little baby, to die just for us.

Even though my family is together again, only by the absolute miracle of God's grace...I will never forget our holidays with an empty spot at the table. Those memories make me pray every holiday season for those families who are not complete.

I pray that God heals your hearts and your family. May you feel the extravagant love of Jesus in your heart this Christmas. 

This song, "Sometimes Christmas Makes Me Cry"by Mandisa and Matthew West represents exactly what I feel.