Who will fill the Gap?

When I get ideas for a blog, I usually think about them frequently over the course of a few days or even weeks. I am sure this is God saying, "hey....write about this. No seriously, I need you to write about this. MICHELLE...go write about it NOW."

Well 2 minutes ago...He added the "NOW" part of that statement. I am in a season of being in the gap. The area between the need for a miracle and the actually miracle taking place. Waiting for a job is one of the toughest thing to wait for. Think about it...you can be waiting for A LOT of things in your life but the daily grind of the job helps pass the time and keeps your mind occupied. Imagine not having that option.

My daily grind consists of what pair of sweat pants to wear today or debating the order of which to watch my recorded shows on DVR. I have a gap every day between when my husband leaves and when he gets home. I obviously look for and apply for jobs everyday but if you have ever been unemployed, you know that only accounts for a certain amount of time. I have TONS of time to think about the gap...

We have financial gaps...BIG gaps right now but even when I get a job, we are looking at a big decrease in my salary. It is tough to be looking for one job let another a second job for after you get the first one to try and fill the gap. I have seen God fill our financial gap MANY times before. Crazy stories about how money has found its way to us. I have faith that God will provide financially...this isn't the biggest gap I worry about surprisingly.

We also have emotional gaps. Now this one is something I didn't worry about for a very long time because I had tons of hope that things would work out like I had planned. Well that is all gone now and I have experienced a time in life with almost no hope. The reason I named this blog "Feels Like Hope" is because it was the only distinct difference I can see in how Christians live their lives. There have been times in my life when the ONLY reason I had hope was because of Jesus. If someone didn't have that...they would literally be hopeless.

Hope is how God can fill the emotional gap between what we expected and what we are experiencing. I write that but I have to be honest, I haven't been trusting God to fill that gap recently. I don't know why but I haven't been trusting him to help me feel encouraged, hopeful, optimistic and strong. I know God can do these things but I haven't been willing to let him try. Instead I have turned to food (we all know how that turned out last time!), mindless entertainment, having a few drinks, avoiding people and places. I am being confronted about why I won't let God fill my emotional gap...

Another part about being a Christian that no one talks about is when you're unfaithfulness to a completely faithful God is brought to light. It is not shame that I feel but a sense of distrust for someone who has never let me down.

I plan to continue this journey of "Training to Trust" by watching sermons from Pastor Steven Furtick. Even though I have had this idea to blog about "The Gap" for a month, today on facebook I saw the intro video for his sermon about "The Expectation Gap"

The Expectation Gap by Pastor Steven Furtick

You can imagine my shock when the blog idea that God gave me a month ago, shows up in my newsfeed attached to one of my favorite preachers. Also while writing this, a good friend sent me this scripture: Psalm 32:8 "I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you."

I am not sure how much more confirmation you can get!